Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
There is nothing more terrifying than being terrified. A cancer diagnosis, a miscarriage, an accident, a divorce, a job loss can cripple our lives. On Tuesday, I sat with a seventy-year-old man who wanted to make his confession the day before he goes to see his oncologist. There is a tumor on his liver. He is terrified of the diagnosis. These days, I have accompanied many of our immigrant brothers and sisters. They are afraid of being separated from their families and children, put in detention, or deported. Fear is not an isolated experience. The Bible is not naïve about fear nor does it shield us from feeling afraid. Rather the rationale is that fear is better faced with God rather than alone.
Two of the three scripture readings today address fear. In the first reading, Elijah took shelter in a cave at Mount Horeb. He was fleeing the wrath of Jezebel as she sought to have him killed. But on the mountain of God, in a tiny whispering sound, in a still small voice, he recognized the voice of God. In it he found strength and direction. In the gospel reading, already tossed by the waves, the disciples cried out in fear as they saw Jesus walk on water. They thought it was a ghost. Peter is terrified a second time as he begins to drown. But their fear is mitigated as they recognized Jesus and confessed, “Truly you are the son of God” (Mt 14:33).
I believe there are three things in today’s scripture that can help us navigate through our fears.
Jesus Stretched Out His Hand
There is a detail in the incident of Peter’s drowning that we might overlook. When Peter cried out, “Lord save me,” Jesus immediately stretched out his hand and caught Peter. Jesus could have saved Peter without stretching out his hand. Jesus could have merely spoken a word and Peter would have been saved. But Jesus stretched out his hand to catch Peter.
The gesture of Jesus stretching out his hand is very telling about God’s entire relationship with us. In Egypt, God stretched out God’s hands to rescue a slave people. Those hands are stretched out again to bring them into the promised land. Israel always found God’s outstretched hand with them. But Jesus is the most tangible sign of God’s outstretched hands. Jesus’, his life, his words, his ministry can all be interpreted as God stretching God’s hands toward a sinking humanity. God does not allow us to sink into death, but rather, through Jesus’ hand outstretched on the cross, saves humanity. The bottom line is that through Jesus’ outstretched hands, God has already saved us from that which terrifies us the most - death. No one who cries out, “Lord save me,” is left abandoned. We never have to fear our eternal destiny. God has saved us for eternity.
Being Alone With God
Sometimes though, death is not the most terrifying thing. My mother says to me always, “I am not afraid of death; I worry that I will linger on and suffer pain.” The man I spoke with on Tuesday is not afraid of dying. He fears for the care of his wife who has suffered a stroke. Jesus, who asked the disciples, “Why do you doubt?” was himself terrified in the garden of Gethsemane. The fear of impending suffering is real.
What can we do when we are terrified or feel afraid? To answer this question, I want to turn to yet another small detail in today’s gospel reading that we might overlook. Matthew tells us that after Jesus had fed the five-thousand and more people, he dismissed the crowd. “After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When it was evening, he was there alone” (Mt 14:23).
Look at it however you want, but there simply isn’t a substitute for prayer. Being alone with God in times of fear is the best way to take on our fear. Elijah was alone with God on Mount Horeb. Jesus was alone on the mountain in prayer. We cannot insure ourselves against fear. But if we want to face life like Elijah or Jesus, there is no better way to do it than to become men and women of prayer. I am not merely saying that we must pray when we are afraid, rather, that we must become men and women of prayer. In other words, it is not only enough to look for God when we are terrified but become men and women of prayer who spend time alone with God all the time. If we do this, then when we are terrified, we will find God exactly where we find God at other times – right by our side.
“If It is You!”
There is a third dynamic at play in the gospel reading that is helpful. The disciples were terrified because they thought they were seeing a ghost. When the disciples realized that it was Jesus they were consoled. Wanting to make sure it was Jesus, Peter said, “Lord, if it is you…!” He jumped into the water hoping to stay afloat. But he sank. The initial fear was mitigated when the disciples realized it was Jesus. But terror struck again when Peter began to sink. After Jesus had saved Peter, Matthew says, “Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying, “Truly, you are the Son of God.”
When we are terrified, our faith in Christ can help us overcome our fears. And when we have overcome our fears, it in turn strengthens our faith in Christ even more. This dynamic between fear and faith and faith and fear is a key dynamic in the life of men and women of prayer. Being men and women of prayer helps us to pay attention to this dynamic. Fear helps build faith, faith helps us overcome our fears, which in turn builds our faith even more.
Perhaps, like the groups of frightened and terrified disciples, this church is our boat and we are in it. Jesus, comes into our midst today, not walking on water, but in bread and wine and says to us, ““Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” Let Christ’s presence today help us live life with a little more faith. May our faith help our fears as we say, "Lord, save me!" Amen.
- Fr. Satish Joseph