Monday of the Sixth Week in Ordinary Time
I was fortunate enough to accompany my husband to a conference in Florida a few weeks ago and there was sunshine every single day! The gray skies have really gotten to me this winter. I even thought about buying one of those special lights that is supposed to alleviate the symptoms of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) this winter. I know the sun is up there, even in Ohio, but sometimes I just want proof and reassurance. I figure it's a common, even reasonable way of thinking this time of year. But today's Gospel reminded me that sometimes there are things right in front of me that I fail to see because I so frequently resort to my own limited vision which gets in the way of my seeing what is real.
Today's Gospel passage from St. Mark is so very short—only a few verses. The Pharisees argue with Jesus demanding a sign from heaven to prove who He is. Jesus, deeply frustrated (or weary) says, "no sign will be given to this generation." Those religious leaders would not have believed anything Jesus did anyway. The control, power, and superiority they clothed themselves in was severely challenged by Jesus and, Son of God or not, their bondage to the false security their positions afforded them was what they ultimately were concerned about preserving. Their scholarly knowledge and societal position had led them far away from the One God they were supposed to serve. Judged strictly by their words, they appear to be open to a 'sign' from Jesus (having God operate on their own terms), but in their hearts they only seek a justifiable reason to get rid of Jesus.
I cannot count the number of times I have asked God to openly reveal his presence to me--especially when all seems predetermined and out of my control. Times of deep pain when losing a loved one or a child self-destructing or a newborn dying or the world completely disintegrating in some way. Who or what can I grab hold of? When I am at my lowest point, not knowing which way to turn, what do I do? I know I want a sign. I know I want a sign that there is Someone out 'there'...someone bigger than me to take over. And when God, who continuously reveals Godself through all creation and the people around me, does not respond on MY terms, I can find myself lost, disappointed, and even angry. And I can even find a way to justify my intense need for something tangible! Then I realize how human I am. Then I realize how narrow and vague and limited my vision can be. Then I realize that Creation, the world, the universe is not about me.
The existential limits and frustrations and ongoing pain of being human smack me straight on at times. And I need that. Ultimately, nothing is about me or what I experience or how I want things to play out. It is all about Jesus and the love of God that is expressed through the person of Jesus. Jesus is the center, perimeter, radius, diameter, and complete substance of the universe. And Jesus always directs everything and everyone to the Father. It is not merely a sign.
For each of us, it begins with our initial experience of Jesus, our subsequent submission to the truth of this, and the unmitigated surrender to God. And though the sun may not show itself today and I may allow myself to be guided by such trivial things, the Son is always there. I need no sign. In the moments of my greatest weakness, I have experienced that Presence. What more do I need to know?
Gail Lyman